The Tale of Malsi and King Uaedurt of Ecnarelot

This is a work of fiction.  Any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, or actual events is purely coincidental.
The author of this work is in perfect mental condition and does not suffer from any sort of phobia.

A long time ago in the faraway kingdom of Ecnarelot lived a young man named Malsi. He was often seen sitting on his doorstep, reading his favourite book, the Book of Recitations, which he claimed was the guide to his every thought, word, and deed. Of all the citizens of Ecnarelot, Malsi was the only one who refused to accept the authority of King Uaedurt, the ruler of the land.

“No one but the Book of Recitations has authority over me, neither shall I accept the laws of this land,” said he.

King Uaedurt was a benevolent man, who held no ill-feeling toward his subjects.

“I wish nothing but happiness for my subjects,” he said, “If my laws don’t suit him, he can live by his Book of Recitations; let the matter be put to bed.”

“O great King, live forever!” said Malsi, when he heard of the king’s words, “I will continue to live by my favourite book, the Book of Recitations, which is the guide to my every thought, word, and deed.”

And so he continued to live in the land of Ecnarelot.

There was a school in the land of Ecnarelot, a school that all the children went to and studied about the world and that which lay beyond it. They learned about the tall trees, the green fields, the sun, the moon, the planets, the stars and many other beautiful things. One fine day, as Professor Ecneics was wrapping up his class on galactic astronomy, there was a knock at the door. Professor Ecneics opened it and watched in bewilderment as Malsi strode into the class, the Book of Recitations in one hand, a sword in the other.

“What is this?” he asked, pointing at a diagram of the Solar System projected on the screen, “Listen to the actual facts, which can only be laid out by me.”

He opened the Book of Recitations and said, “We do not go around the sun, give your teacher no regard. Rather, the sun sets in a muddy pond, right out in my backyard.”

He pointed to a picture of the night sky and said, “These stars are not to give you light; for they are missiles used by the Almighty when the angels and demons do fight!”

A petrified Professor Ecneics bolted out the door and ran straight to King Uaedurt’s palace.

“O great King, something terrible is happening,” he cried out, “Keep Malsi away from my students, or scientific truth they shall begin to doubt!”

“That would be bigotry, which is something I don’t tolerate!” said King Uaedurt, “Malsi shall teach, while you will be hanged for all your unpleasant hate!”

So to the gallows he was led, for trying to speak the truth, the greatest crime in the post-truth Kingdom of Ecnarelot.

Soon, Malsi had become a popular figure in the Kingdom of Ecnarelot, famous for his immense wisdom and insight. He gathered a large following, whom he often sat down and taught from the Book of Recitations.

“O men, your wives are nothing more than your fields,” he preached, “Plow them for cultivation whenever you wish, as much as your heart needs! This is the teaching of the Almighty; if she refuses, feel free to strike her, and not too lightly.”

“If any man claims to be attracted to another man like men are attracted to women,” he said on another instance, “Make a shower of stones rain on him, until he’s dead from his head bleeding.”

His followers obeyed every word he said. Women were ill-treated, while men attracted to other men were stoned or thrown off rooftops. A great many were disturbed by these events, but King Uaedurt was unmoved.

“I love diversity and hate bigotry,” said he, “And anyone who dares to speak up against Malsi shall be hanged by me!”

Many citizens wondered why King Uaedurt was acting this way; after all, he had promised equality for all women and men who were attracted to other men on the day of his coronation. Yet no one dared to raise a voice, lest they be dragged to a social justice tribunal against their choice.

Many years later, Malsi was walking through the marketplace with his followers when he spotted a little six year old girl with blond hair and a pretty pink dress.

“I want to marry her,” he told his followers, “so bring her to me, dressed in the finest fur.”

His followers did as they were told, and the wedding was conducted with pomp in the streets of the city of Otnorot in the Kingdom of Ecnarelot. Nobody knew how the little girl felt about being forced to marry a fifty-three old man, but nobody dared to question Malsi, for they knew that his Book of Recitations permitted him to marry pre-pubescent girls.

There were some, however, who had been looking for a chance to take Malsi down for a long time, and they believed that this was their opportunity. They requested for an audience with King Uaedurt and also demanded that Malsi be present.

On the day of the audience, the individuals who had brought the case against Malsi stood up and said, “O great king, Malsi’s wedding has violated the laws of our land, both against pedophilia and child brides! According to the Criminal Code of Ecnarelot, section 151 and…”

“I COMMAND YOU TO BE SILENT!” King Uaedurt bellowed, “Honourable Malsi, what do you have to say to these accusations brought against you?”

Malsi stood up, the Book of Recitations in his hand, “O great King, I do not live by the laws of this land. Nothing but the Book of Recitations controls every move of my hand.”

“Does the Book of Recitations allow you to do what you did?” asked King Uaedurt.

“Yes,” replied Malsi, “And I can do it again and again till the day I achieve eternal bliss.”

“Then let there be no question about it,” declared King Uaedurt almightily, “Malsi’s actions do not deserve punishment, for I value diversity and hate bigotry.” He cleared his throat and continued, “I also declare that the Book of Recitations is now a part of the laws of my kingdom, for I have found in them great pearls of wisdom. I hereby appoint Malsi as the new laws’ enforcer, and in all matters regarding the Book of Recitations, I will only be an observer.”

“My Lord, this is injudicious,” said the individuals who had brought the case against Malsi, “for such acts can only increase in our society those acts that are pernicious.”

“I COMMAND YOU TO BE SILENT!” bellowed King Uaedurt, “I shall no longer tolerate this bigotry against the wonderful Book of Recitations and its enforcer, Malsi.”

“My Lord, this book was written by an unlettered merchant,” said the people, “If you enforce it as law, the violence would be incessant!”

King Uaedurt turned to Malsi, “What does the Book of Recitations command regarding them that show dissent?” “They ought to be killed, crucified, or dismembered,” said Malsi with comtempt.

“So it shall be!” said King Uaedurt, upon which the individuals who brought the case against Malsi were dragged out and dealt with according to what the Book of Recitations commanded.

The king smiled at Malsi, “You shall be my closest advisor and my life-long friend, for I am astounded by your wisdom that has no end.”

“I shall be your closest advisor and life-long friend,” said Malsi, “For I live by the Book of Recitations, whose wisdom has no end.”

King Uaedurt lay down on his bed, tired after the events of the day. The bed had a golden frame, and was covered with a red duvet that had maple leaves embroidered all over it. Behind the bed was a long, scarlet curtain that covered a floor-to-glass window.

He turned over on his bed and pulled the duvet over himself. Many of his citizens were disturbed by his decision to implement the Book of Recitations as law and appoint Malsi as its enforcer. Many thought that he had made this decision because he loved diversity and hated bigotry. Others thought that he had done it because he saw the wisdom and insight that Malsi possessed, and wished to have him as a close advisor and a life-long friend.

They were all wrong.

The reason King Uaedurt had elevated Malsi to a high position was because he feared Malsi. He had seen the power that Malsi wielded over his followers. He had seen Malsi’s ruthlessness in dealing with apostates who had left his sect, for he showed no mercy even to his own family members. He was afraid that Malsi would one day turn against him and take away his kingdom and his throne from him.

“Finally, I can put my fears to rest,” Uaedurt thought to himself, “for in my kingdom, Malsi is now second-highest. I have made his Book of Recitations into law, thereby fulfilling his aim. There can be no way that he will kill me now, for I have given him wealth, glory, power, and fame.”

He closed his eyes.

Unknown to King Uaedurt, however, there was a man who had entered through the large window behind the bed and was now crouching silently behind the scarlet curtain, ready to pounce at the right moment. In one hand, he brandished a long sharp sword. In his other hand, he held his favourite book.

The Book of Recitations.

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